Time for your weekly eSportsEdition horoscope from the prophet himself, Jungroan Lin. You definitely don’t want to overlook all of the misleading advice that he’s ready to share with you.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
It’s going to be another tough week ahead for you and at times it’s going to seem like Riot has introduced a new 1v9 Summoner’s Rift game mode just for you. But if you can manage to soldier on through this week, clearer skies lie ahead.
Champion of the Week: Singed
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
When others around you are feeling down, you seem to be just a little more optimistic and critical. Ride your own momentum and use your sexy personality to cheer your teammates up. Careful though not to appear too promiscuous, as not everyone is quite over the winter weather yet!
Champion of the Week: Ahri
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Let patience be the guiding virtue for this week. Bigger gold piles will come to you if you wait, so maybe even think about buying cull on your support Soraka; you’ll eventually get there (maybe after a couple hours…). Working on your ability to farm and facilitate farm will be the best way to seek improvement in the short term.
Champion of the Week: Nasus
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
It’s tough staying motivated all of the time, especially when the next promotion series seems like it’s doomed to fail. You’re better than that though. You’re a fighter. You’re going to flex hard this week on some scrubs. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Don’t let your dreams be memes.
Champion of the Week: Yasuo
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This might be the week where you take a backseat to your friend’s ‘super-stardom’. It’s okay to be totally supportive, even if you’re playing Riven. Building tanky will bring you sustained success through this week, but that doesn’t excuse you from still being the mechanical genius that you are.
Champion of the Week: Nunu
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
More than ever, keeping a light mood this week will be so important if you want to be successful. There’s going to be a lot of toxic players around you, so all you can do is try not to be an additional cancer to the team. Humor will get you through the toughest days, especially Thursday… Thursday is gonna be a real bum of a day. Sorry.
Champion of the Week: Amumu
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Something magical is in the air for you. Put on your Rabadon’s Deathcap and listen eagerly to Luden’s Echo. You’ll seem to have a greater affinity for Ability Power scaling champions than you normally do. I would definitely give the AP Nasus mid a go this week.
Champion of the Week: Orianna
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You get to be the hero this week, but really, it’s what you were born to do anyways. Step up and be the champion that you want to carry with most. Your teammates will be counting on you as they awe-fully watch you dominate the field.
Champion of the Week: Katarina
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
As per usual, you should act as balance dictates, taking balanced steps, and finding balance in all things. Feed upon your inner energy. Meditate before your games, and you will find greater enlightenment: master yourself, master the enemy.
Champion of the Week: Some Ninja… Or Lee Sin
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You’re finally about to climb over a massive milestone. Whether this milestone is good or bad… For some, it will be finally eclipsing a previously unattainable rank. For others: We’ve been spending our time well, haven’t we?
Champion of the Week: Urgot
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Incremental change will be the name of the game for you, and you’ll see improvements in all facets of your gameplay. While others might not notice that you’re averaging 0.8 cs/minute more or hitting an additional enemy with a Sona ult, the cumulative effects of your improvement will leave a subliminal positive impact on your image to others.
Champion of the Week: Hecarim
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Sometimes it feels like your friends are starting to forget about how awesome you are. Don’t try to remedy this right away. Instead, use that fire inside of you and build your gameplay around angry destruction. You will stomp on the hopes and dreams of your lane opponent this week, and nothing will satisfy you more.
Champion of the Week: Jarvan IV